


First, Last and Only

by mrs_leary (julie)



Series: Questions [3]
Category: Merlin (TV) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-24
Updated: 2010-02-24
Packaged: 2017-10-28 09:47:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/306570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julie/pseuds/mrs_leary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bradley’s preparing Colin for ‘opening night’, and they’re dealing with the uncertainties of getting tested.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First, Last and Only

**Author's Note:**

> With birthday wishes for my darling **goddes_divine** … ♥ But also (if she doesn’t mind sharing) with gratitude to **cinnatart** (I was thinking of you when I wrote some of this), **gwy** (you wanted more Bradley/Colin), **hermette** (I was thinking of you when I wrote some of this), **octoberamethyst** (you sent me a Merlin owl!) and **wiccaqueen** (you’re a good friend, hon). Loving my flist right now… ♥

♦

The odd thing about Colin – one of the _many_ odd things, Bradley amended his thoughts – was that he hummed during sex. Not in the most passionate moments, during which he would moan and groan and cry and shout like any normal human being. But in those happily contented could–do–this–all–afternoon moments, Colin would close his eyes, put his head back and _hum_ , that lilt of his thrumming through his flesh, through the very air, until Bradley himself felt caught up in the vibrations.

It was happening now, in fact. Colin lay sprawled back across Bradley’s bed, his long limbs flung where they may, and he was happily tunelessly _hum_ ming, while Bradley lay between his thighs, exploring Colin’s gorgeous long cock with his mouth, and gently smoothly thrusting into him with his forefinger. ‘How’s that feeling?’ Bradley asked after a while, it being his current mission, of course, to prepare Colin for a thorough fucking at some stage in the not–too–distant future. ‘Still feeling good?’

The only answer he received was an increase in pitch and intensity of the humming, and an insistent push upwards from those sinuous hips.

Bradley stopped everything he was doing, and lifted his head. ‘I told you, no moving.’

‘But, _Bradley_ …’ Colin complained.

‘I can’t be _careful_ enough if you’re humping about all over the place.’

Colin settled back again, but not without a muttered oath in brogue too thick to decipher. He didn’t start humming again for a while – not until Bradley had taken his time licking up the length of his cock before wriggling his tongue within the foreskin so that he could rasp around the cockhead while it was still safely tucked away. That brought another oath, and a groan, which fell away into a contented yet encouraging hum.

Bradley smiled to himself while not losing his place. He’d thought this move up himself, and developed the knack of it, and Colin loved it – and Bradley loved it, too, to be honest. He wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing, but he loved using his mouth, whether it was for kissing or biting or sucking or licking, or just anything really. And, after a brief period of acclimatisation, he loved Colin’s cock. Which Bradley really shouldn’t have found surprising, given that he loved his own cock, and he loved Colin – the rest followed, surely, and he’d just been a bit slow in understanding, which was nothing new.

He carefully lowered his head so that he could take the whole cockhead into his mouth while keeping his tongue pressed inside, and he started gently suckling, prompting a deepening of the contented hum. He was loosely holding Colin’s cock in place with his other hand, and he now swept that thumb down over the balls, feeling their roundness jostle under his thumbpad. Another caress, and another – and the humming transformed into an urgent moan, and Colin was pushing at his shoulder.

‘Mmm?’ Bradley enquired.

‘Soon,’ he was informed.

‘Mmm,’ he agreed appreciatively.

‘Bradley!’ Colin was leaning up to really shove at him now. ‘Condom. _Now_. Or – or – take your mouth away.’

Bradley sighed, lifted up, withdrawing his tongue, and then shifted so that Colin’s hard cock pressed hot up his cheek. ‘You were a _virgin_ ,’ he explained impatiently. ‘I’ll take the risk. If there even is one.’

‘You don’t only catch things from sex,’ Colin argued in exasperation. ‘I may have shared a needle or something. You don’t _know_.’

‘Well, did you?’

‘No.’ His jaw had gone mulish. ‘But you don’t _know_ that, do you? You don’t even _know_ that I was a virgin.’

Bradley smirked, remembering Colin’s wonder and excitement, his naivety and joy, all of which was still clearly in evidence. ‘Yeah, I do. You definitely were.’

Colin glared at him. It was strange them arguing, while Colin’s cock was still hard against Bradley’s cheek, and Bradley’s finger was still deep within the man. ‘You don’t know about the rest. Were you always this careless?’

That stung. ‘No. Only with you. I  _trust_ you, Morgan. I  _trust_ you. You can’t tell me that’s a bad thing.’

Colin’s expression softened a little. His cock didn’t at all. ‘It’s not a bad thing,’ he agreed.

‘Anyway, I want to –’ and he really only discovered it as he was saying it. ‘I want to _taste_ you. I want to taste you and swallow you and make you a part of me.’

An urgent moan greeted this, as if Colin couldn’t think of anything he himself wanted more than that. But still he said, ‘When we – when we get the results – of the tests – only days now – we’d be stupid to – to take any risks before then.’

‘ _Colin…_ ’ Bradley whispered, turning his head so he could mouth the name, this beloved name, against hot velvet–covered hardness. ‘Colin… _please…_  I want –’

A frustrated groan, as Colin’s head went back, as the man arched his torso up in a sensual needy stretch – and Bradley almost thought he was being given permission – but at the last moment Colin sagged back down again, and looked at Bradley very directly. ‘It’s only a tiny risk for you,’ he agreed. ‘You’re right. And I don’t mean to be a selfish prat, but there’s a tiny risk the other way round, too, isn’t there?’

And Bradley went cold. ‘Oh god. Yes. I’m sorry.’ He carefully withdrew, got to his hands and knees. Horrified at himself. ‘God. Sorry, Colin. I’m _sorry_.’ Distracting himself by rummaging around in the bedside drawer, when he could see perfectly clearly that the box of condoms was already waiting there under the lamp.

‘Bradley… Bradley, hush…’ Colin sounded like the Angel of Forgiveness, which only made it all the worse. ‘Come here… Come here…’

And he turned blindly, was drawn into Colin’s arms, and they held each other there, close and fearful and comforting. ‘I’m sorry,’ Bradley was mumbling. ‘I’m sorry. I’m pretty sure I’m safe. But I – God! I’d never – I’d never –’

‘I know,’ Colin was soothing him. ‘I know…’

Bradley would have thought the mood was pretty much destroyed, but soon Colin was shifting against him with a quiet rhythm, and he was humming low in his throat, and his hands were encouraging and sweet, and then he was pushing over onto Bradley – and Bradley _loved_ him, god he _adored_ him – and Colin was muttering something filthy about skin, he couldn’t _ever_ get enough of Bradley’s skin – and they finished like that, just as they had the very first time, with Colin moving over him, instinctive and beautiful and wild. Bradley had never known anything so incredible in his whole life.

♦

Bradley’s flatmate Tom came back from filming in Prague, so they spent more time at Colin’s tiny flat instead for the sake of making _noise_ without being too obnoxious – even though Colin only had a single bed. Bradley had stared at it in disbelief when he’d first been invited in. ‘You pretty much abandoned all hope, did you?’

‘No,’ said Colin with a shrug. ‘I just needed the room.’

Bradley stayed over a couple of times, but though they loved sleeping in each other’s arms, it wasn’t ideal with hardly any room to shift about in, and they both had restless nights. But there was no question about the fact that’s what they’d do on the night before they were due to get their test results. They lay there together, with Bradley spooning Colin, holding each other close, even closer than they had to. And mostly they were silent, but when they talked it was quietly, and of innocuous things. Until at last Bradley whispered, ‘What are you gonna do? If I’m positive?’

And Colin pressed closer still, turned his head so his lips were a breath away from Bradley’s, and he murmured roughly, ‘Nothing.’

‘Nothing?’

‘Nothing different, I mean. Keep loving you. Make sure we’re always fully stocked. Keep you healthy, no matter what it takes. That’s all.’

‘Oh god, _Colin_ …’

And then they made love like that, with Bradley rocking himself gently against Colin’s sweet arse, his fingers intertwined with Colin’s on his long gorgeous cock. If life gave Bradley James no more than this, he would be forever beyond contented.

♦

But of course they were both fine, they were both negative. Bradley pushed through the doors of the medical centre and stepped out onto the pavement with Colin just behind him, and his face turned to the morning sunshine, and his worries just kind of fell away like they’d never even been there. ‘We’re fine,’ he said, like he’d known it all along. ‘Of course we’re fine.’

Colin chuckled, and _didn’t_ mention all of Bradley’s fretting. ‘Aye,’ he said in his thickest brogue. ‘We’re fine, so…’

‘So…’

That beautiful smile beamed at Bradley, and then twisted wickedly. ‘So… your place or mine?’

Bradley tilted his head in a quibble. ‘I wanna go with Plan A.’

‘Oh.’ Colin seemed a bit taken aback. But he nodded, very serious, very amenable. ‘You wanna take me out on a date?’

‘Yeah. Yeah, I do.’

‘Wining and dining, wasn’t it? Fancy hotel or something?’

‘Yeah. That’s for tonight.’

‘ _Hours_ away,’ Colin commented. They were both standing there with all of London flowing around them. Standing there, the two of them each with their hands shoved into their own jeans pockets, restless on their feet, but not moving. Facing each other, but not really daring to _look_. ‘You wanna wait hours, Bradley – when all we need is a few minutes to find some privacy somewhere, and you could fuck me up against a brick wall, I wouldn’t care, you could fuck me up against a dumpster in some alley with people walking past on the street, now, right _now_ – and I’d be _yours_ , Bradley, I’d be _all_ _yours_.’

Bradley was gaping at him, dumbfounded. Dazed. Blown and overblown with lust. ‘Colin Morgan,’ he eventually complained.

‘Mmm…? Yes?’

‘You are _wicked_. D’you kiss your mother with that wicked mouth of yours?’

Colin chuckled, and winked at him. His smile was blindingly bright. ‘She wouldn’t have it any other way.’

‘So, would you, uh… Would you come out with me? Let me romance you? We can save the dumpster for our first anniversary, if you like.’

A shrug, and that grin impossibly widening. ‘Sounds great. When you gonna pick me up?’

‘Right now. Like you said. This starts right now.’

It was Colin’s turn to be dumbfounded. ‘The date starts now?’

‘Yeah.’ Bradley tipped his head back to indicate the street behind him. ‘There’s a coffee shop down there. No – it’s a coffee _house_. Nice place. Very intellectual. Very European. You’ll love it. We’ll get a cuppa, a bite to eat if you want – I’ll make a couple of phone calls – then we’re on.’

‘Bradley James…’ He sounded full of wonder.

‘It’s not just a date, anyway. This is where the rest of our lives start. Our lives together.’

And Colin Morgan – the most private and undemonstrative of people – stepped forward and took Bradley’s hand in his, leaned in to press a kiss to Bradley’s mouth. ‘Aye,’ Colin said, his lips just a breath away. ‘We’ve already started – and I’m _yours_.’

♦

They took a riverboat down to Greenwich, and then wandered up the hill to the Observatory, the grass green and lush under their feet, the sky strangely blue. Bradley had to keep his hands shoved into his pockets otherwise he’d have not only held Colin’s hand, but swung it between them, stupidly happy. They walked along the meridian line while Colin went on and on about what it meant, how significant it was for the whole world – and he only shut up when he saw the clocks, the marine timekeepers, and he stood there stunned. ‘Oh, but they’re _beautiful_!’ And then he watched mesmerised, with a group of the Observatory’s guests, as one was set going, and he followed the complex rhythmic movement of it as if hypnotised.

When the others had all left, Bradley went to stand behind him, slid his arms around Colin’s narrow waist, and murmured, ‘Just my luck to lose you to a _clock_ , for god’s sake.’

And Colin laughed, turned around within his arms, and said, ‘Nothing’s as beautiful as you, Bradley James. Did you have all this planned? Did you _know_ they were going to do that?’

‘Yeah. And this is just the start.’

Colin grinned. ‘What’s next, then?’

♦

Bradley escorted Colin back to his place to change, and it took all his willpower not to follow that yearning blue gaze and that sweetly curved arse up to bed, but he resisted, and headed home. Came back in a taxi, dressed in a dark blue suit and an open–necked cream shirt, and sprang up the stairs two at a time. When Colin opened the door, Bradley wasn’t surprised to find him in jeans and a Fat Face shirt, but at least it was all clean and uncrumpled, and the shirt was a proper ‘dress’ one with buttons, plus Colin had done something a bit different with his fringe and some product. ‘What d’you think?’ Colin asked a bit nervously when he caught Bradley examining it. ‘I got Ange to help me. You know, my neighbour.’

‘Beautiful,’ Bradley announced. ‘You are the most beautiful creature on the planet, Colin Morgan.’

At which Colin’s cheekbones went pink, and he dropped his gaze. And he noticed that Bradley still had one hand hidden behind his back. ‘Um…’ Colin glanced up at him, frowning. Quizzical. ‘Flowers…? _Really?_ ’

‘Yeah.’ Bradley let a beat pass, just long enough for Colin to turn pinker still, but also for the frown to turn into a sceptical smirk – and then he produced his present, wrapped in a big blue satin bow.

Colin gaped, and took it, slid the bow undone and leafed through – a glossy scholarly book of paintings, centuries of paintings and drawings and arty photographs, all of them of flowers or with flowers in them, and of course lots and lots of words about the meaning and the cultural significance and how it changed over time, and –

‘It’s the thought that counts?’ Bradley tried after too many silent moments had ticked away.

‘No, this is awesome,’ Colin declared, looking up at him, just _glowing_. ‘Thank you.’

‘There’s some medieval stuff in there. And some Irish stuff.’

‘Bradley, _thank you_.’

‘All right,’ he muttered, a bit embarrassed now. ‘It’s nothing, really.’

Colin closed the book and pressed it to his chest, wrapped his arms around it – leaned in to press a kiss to Bradley’s cheek, which must be as pink as Colin’s own. ‘Bradley. _I love you_. Just in case I haven’t made that completely clear yet.’

And their gazes locked, the air between them charged, lightning crackled where they got too close to each other. ‘Um…’ said Bradley, his voice thick. ‘Taxi’s waiting downstairs.’

‘I’ll be quick.’

 _Huh._ ‘I’d be quicker,’ he countered. And he huffed. ‘Nothing to boast about really, is it?’

‘Bradley…’

‘No, let’s wait. Do it properly. Oh god!’ It was a wrench, but they owed themselves this, didn’t they? Bradley owed it to Colin to do this right. ‘Let’s go have dinner.’

‘Yeah?’

‘And after dinner, dancing. The vertical kind.’

That took Colin back a step again. ‘Oh Bradley… I can’t dance. I really can’t.’

‘You’ll be perfect.’

♦

Dinner was at the best vegetarian restaurant Bradley had been able to find, and the menu had been designed just for them after he’d provided the frighteningly long list of things that Colin couldn’t or wouldn’t eat. And even Bradley had to admit the food was amazing. Yet they were both too happy too horny too tense too needy to really appreciate it. At least half of each dish went back to the kitchens, but Bradley basically paid double the bill as a tip, and told them ten times it had been wonderful. And Colin… by this time Colin was just floating along on a dazed smile, and not even the chef could take offence at such a beautiful young man being too silly in love to want to eat.

♦

Dancing was at the classiest gay club Bradley could track down, and the playlist was based around the songs Colin played most on his dorky little MP3 stick that Bradley had ‘borrowed’ one day. ‘I can’t dance,’ Colin protested again, even as Bradley led him out to the floor by the hand and found a spot in amongst all these other men loving men loving men.

‘You can hug me, can’t you?’

‘Yeah.’ A happily doting smile.

‘You can kiss me?’

‘Definitely.’

‘Then that’ll do.’ And they slow–danced a couple of hours away, Bradley leading the way in a rhythmic shuffle, while Colin stretched and gently pushed against him, humming tunelessly, beautifully, kissing him, caressing and holding him, and it was perfect indeed.

♦

And at last it was time to find a bed. Not just any random bed. ‘Not a hotel?’ Colin asked when Bradley gave his own address to the taxi driver.

‘Nah. We have enough of them, don’t we? Figured this would be better.’

‘Tom bought some earplugs…?’

‘Tom’s staying at his sister’s. D’you meet Tania already? I’m sure you have.’

Colin looked at him for a moment. ‘But they don’t get on.’

‘So he’s making the ultimate sacrifice in the name of true love and wild sex.’

Colin touched his heart in an extravagant gesture, as if deeply moved. But he also said, ‘Thank you,’ very quietly and very genuinely.

♦

Bradley had texted Tom an ETA, of course, and had received a reply while the taxi was drawing up to the kerb, saying that Tania had helped, too – so he wasn’t at all sure what he’d find upstairs in his room. As it was, it was perfect.

They walked in, hand in hand, both gaping a little. All it had taken was a bit of tidying, the warmth of lit candles, a freshly made bed with pure white sheets, and a huge vase of roses from Tania’s garden – the wonderful sort that actually _smelled_ like roses – and Bradley’s room was transformed.

‘You’re right, this is perfect,’ said Colin, kind of hushed. ‘Tell the truth, I was kind of dreading the hotel thing.’

‘It’s better to be here?’

Colin indicated the bed. ‘It’s where we first made love.’

And that’s when Bradley drew him into his arms, and kissed him.

♦

Naked and completely open to each other in the warmth of the candlelight. They took it slowly, even though they were both trembling by now with long–suppressed need. At first they’d simply held each other loosely and kissed and caressed, length against length. But soon Bradley pushed Colin over onto his back, and he mouthed a path down his long torso to lap longingly at his cock and balls, hard and tight with hunger, and Colin was humming, low and tense. And then Bradley kept going, nuzzling down further, then carefully licking at Colin’s sweet little hole – and that humming took on a keening note. To his own surprise, Bradley didn’t even feel a hint of reluctance at exploring with his mouth what already belonged to his fingers and would soon belong to his cock.

Soon he was pushing his tongue inside Colin, and Colin was panting his name, and groaning confusedly ‘don’t stop that’ and ‘ _fuck_ me, god damn it’ and ‘don’t _ever_ stop that’ and ‘fuck me _now_ , Bradley!’

And he didn’t use his fingers this time, but only his tongue, cos he was pretty damned sure Colin was ready for this, and anyway he wanted them both to _feel_ it. So eventually, after minutes that felt like hours, like decades, like centuries, Bradley knelt between those thighs that lay open for him, and shifted himself in close – and frowning hard in concentration, using a hand to guide himself and his other hand to guide Colin, he drove himself slowly inside that delicious arse, and he _made_ himself not feel it for himself, he _forced_ himself to concentrate only on Colin – who was arched back, and biting his lip, frowning furiously, but muttering ‘yes – yes – yes’ as if he needed Bradley to know it was all right, it was all right.

‘Col?’ he gasped once he was all the way in – and Colin shuddered, which set his _achingly_ hard cock bouncing madly between them, and really did Bradley need any more reassurance than that? ‘Col…’

‘Bradley… dear god…’

‘All right? You all right?’

‘More than all right. So much more than all right.’

‘Good.’ And he carefully, carefully eased forward, let his legs unfold and slide back, gently settled himself down into Colin’s embrace, so they were lying close together – and once he stilled, Colin tilted his hips a little more, with a small grunt of effort, and hooked his ankles together in the small of Bradley’s back. ‘All right?’ Bradley asked again.

‘Yeah. Yeah. I really am.’

And Bradley nodded, and withdrew a little, and began thrusting, just as smoothly and carefully as he knew how. ‘all right…’

‘Bradley,’ Colin was chanting. ‘Bradley! God. That’s – That’s so – God…’ And he asked, ‘How’s – How’s it feel – for you?’

And that was the beginning of the end right there, cos Bradley considered the answer to this question, and of course that meant he suddenly started thinking about himself and his own reactions, and he managed, ‘Hot! Hard. So tight, gripping me, and –’ gazing into those beautiful molten blue eyes so close to his own – ‘and it’s _you_ , it’s _you_ , Colin –’ letting his hands dig in a little harder, his heartbeat pounding as he saw Colin’s hand dive down in between them to wrap round his own cock – ‘and Colin, it’s…’ something belatedly occurred to him, and he thought about it, and – ‘God! My first time ever – without a rubber – just your flesh and mine –’ and it was so incredibly intense he wondered how he’d even lasted this long – ‘sorry – oh god sorry – I’m gonna –’

‘Come for me, Bradley,’ Colin demanded. ‘ _Come for me_.’

And he just exploded – imploded with it, and all was hot and slippery and hard and tight and _intense_ , and his flesh moved within Colin’s with no barriers at all, just the two of them and nothing else – and then Colin must have been coming, too, cos there was more slipperiness between them, and there were hard shudders resounding down through the core of him, and he yelled – he yelled in shock and joy right there in Colin’s face, but Colin didn’t seem to mind for he was kind of laughing and crying a bit all at the same time, and he was muttering something about love in his filthy rich brogue, and then they lay there together, utterly spent and sated and so damned happy with it that Bradley gave serious consideration to never moving again.

♦

But of course soon he had to, for Colin’s sake, and Bradley withdrew as carefully as he could, though perhaps inevitably Colin grimaced. ‘Does it hurt? I’m sorry. Colin –’

‘No, it’s fine. I’m all right actually.’ Colin was frowning, and his focus was all internal for a while, considering, but then he looked at Bradley and nodded. ‘I’m fine. You prepared me, yeah? You got me ready for that.’

‘Yeah. Yeah, I hope so.’

‘You did.’

Bradley was lying stretched alongside Colin, propped up on his elbow so he could watch his love, his sweet love. He wondered if he looked as wrecked and satisfied as Colin did, and hoped that was indeed the case. God, they’d both need a shower before they settled. Bradley dragged fingertips up his own torso, and then considered the stickiness.

Which was when it occurred to him. That was Colin. That was Colin’s love splattered all over both their bellies, and – and – _Bradley was now allowed to taste him_.

He brought his fingers to his lips, poked out his tongue cautiously and took a hint, then a swipe. Mmm. All right. Salty. Intriguing. Colin was watching him with a serious kind of interest. Bradley gathered up more on his fingers, and lapped at them, licked them clean. Colin moaned.

 _All right._

Well, he had no idea whether he was supposed to do this, or if he was just being weird, but Bradley went with the impulse, and Colin seemed to adore him for it. Bradley pushed up onto his hands and knees, and began cleaning off Colin’s torso with his tongue, rasping across the sensitive skin, scooping up his love’s love, and savouring it. Swallowing. It was incredible. Colin seemed to think so, too, for he was quiet but his breath panted heavily, and he watched carefully with that intense blue gaze.

And when Bradley was done there – when that narrow belly and that heavy cock and those sweet balls were all clean – he pushed back further, and nuzzled and licked his way to where he himself had been – and Colin’s thighs fell wide for him, and he moaned as Bradley’s tongue delved and twisted and chased after every last drop of his own.

When he finally pulled away again, Colin followed him as if they were connected, pushed Bradley over onto his back, straddled his thighs. ‘Ready?’ Colin asked – roughly, and rather redundantly cos they were both ridiculously hard all over again by now. Bradley hadn’t known before that there were degrees of hardness, that he could be harder than hard. ‘Bradley?’

‘Yes, but – God, Col! Are you sure? You’re not hurting so bad? It’s too soon, Col…’

‘I’m sure,’ Colin said. And he lifted himself over Bradley’s cock, which seemed to follow him, arch after him blindly – which would have been funny, except right now this was the most serious business in all the world – and between them they got Bradley lined up, and then Colin sank down and down and gave himself utterly over once more to Bradley James. ‘Yours,’ Colin was muttering as his thighs trembled, and he struggled to find any kind of rhythm. ‘I’m _yours_.’

‘I’m yours, Colin Morgan.’ His hands wrapped around those narrow hips as he encouraged them to rediscover their sinuousness, and when Colin seemed secure, Bradley pushed up into his tight hot sweet arse as Colin sank to meet him… ‘Love you – I love you – till death do us part, Col.’

‘Till death do us part.’ The golden glow of candlelight and the scent of roses and the heady raw feeling of intimate flesh against flesh and Colin’s molten hot blue gaze devouring Bradley from the inside out. ‘Till death do us part,’ Colin vowed again, ‘and then, if there’s a heaven, it’ll be something like this. We’ll be together, and it’ll be something like today.’

‘ _Oh… love…_ ’

♦


End file.
